my closure (in place of easier said than done)

so...this entry was about a breakup, but after months of not being with him, i really do see why it was so great that we did. some shit went down shortly after, and i realized he wasnt who i thought he was. he wasnt the best friend that would never want to hurt me. in fact, the whole time it seemed like he had a secret agenda given what i know now. i was blind, but its ok. ya, he was my best friend, but it seems like once he hit college he was too good for me. he can say what he wants, but thats what it looks like to me. well, its cool because the joke is on him. i had my reasons for that relationship, and after thinking about them, i cant remember why i was so bummed that that relationship ended. i didnt put much into it, but i put so much more into it than he did, which is ridiculous. its really sad when an 18 year old man (well, maybe not man...) doesnt know how to treat his girlfriend. he is best friend material, not boyfriend material. i do regret this whole breakup because i lost my best friend. even if our relationship was a big joke, we had a real and strong friendship. we'll probably never have that again. i tried to make my peace with him, but he must not have taken it seriously. well, i was serious, and now its done. i give up. i know the value of friendship and i guess he doesnt. looking at all the good times we had before we dated, and even during the time we dated, i think its so stupid to throw this friendship away. i will advocate keeping a friendship until the day i die, so its unfortunate that it cant turn out that way. maybe someday he'll come around and realize what he lost in me as a friend, because we were really good to each other as best friends. i know he cant deny that. who knows, maybe someday he'll read this and maybe see the light and realize that maybe he should rethink how he's playing this whole thing out. well, this is my closure.